How can we support those who are hurting?

In the fall of my junior year in college, my grandmother died. A week and a half later, my father died. In a matter of days, everything changed for my family. I honestly do not know how I made it through final exams that semester, but somehow, I managed. I returned to school after Christmas break and found myself surrounded by college kids looking for the next party. Needless to say, the college environment is not conducive to grief. I have come to learn that most environments are not equipped to support people experiencing a significant loss.

Over time, anxiety welled up and I began to have panic attacks. If you have ever experienced one, you might be familiar with the vicious cycle that quickly takes hold. In a matter of seconds, your nervous system is hijacked and you feel completely out of control. Once it passes, you ask yourself why did this happen? How could I have prevented it? And the worst question, when will it happen again? I created exit strategies everywhere I went—sit by the door, know where the restroom is, or do not go anywhere. I felt embarrassed and alone in my experience, and I am certain this added fuel to the fire of anxiety.

Anxiety and panic are only a fraction of the mental illnesses affecting millions of people each year. One in five adults experiences a mental illness, and most of us have a family member or friend who has struggled or is struggling. Some of these illnesses last the better part of a lifetime, some are seasonal or circumstantial, and some can be life-threatening.

Factors contributing to mental health challenges include brain chemistry, life experiences such as abuse or trauma, and a family history of mental illness. Physical, spiritual, emotional, and psychological health contributes to overall well-being. We know that mental well-being influences our thinking, feeling, and doing. Sometimes, in the presence of mental illness, our decision-making processes and behavioral responses may be disruptive, leading to stigma and shame. A holistic approach is essential to providing care to those dealing with a mental illness. Seeking help may be intimidating for fear of being ridiculed or dismissed or being labeled as a diagnosis. These fears easily lend themselves to isolation, loneliness, and resistance to much-needed healthcare.

As I reflect on my experience, I recognize that healing came as I addressed the various parts of myself. I became intentional about spending time with my parents and friends, taking care of my body, visiting a counselor, and turning to God in prayer. I became more aware of the ways in which I could better care for myself as I grew in a relationship with God. I also began to learn about what it means to be loved by God. Psalm 55:22 reads, “Cast your burden on the Lord, and he will sustain you.” Even if in micro-moments, I learned that God does sustain me despite my circumstances. God always fulfills His promise to abide with us in all things. I wish I could say that a flashy miracle took place. My experience was gradual healing as I took responsibility for seeking the care I needed.

The Gospel of Matthew tells of a man needing healing as Jesus was teaching at home in Capernaum (Mark 2:1-11). So many people were gathered around that there was no way to approach Jesus. Several people carried the paralytic man onto the roof of the home and dug through to lower him down to Jesus. What a powerful image of believers! They did not try to “fix” the man, instead, they took him to the one who could offer him new life.

What would it look like if we, as believers, dig through the roof of mental illness? We might not be able to “fix” those who are hurting, but we can take a walk with them, pray for them, and check on them when they are struggling. We can recognize the ways in which our culture stereotypes and discriminates against mental illness and become influencers of change. We can share stories about our own experiences in an effort to reduce stigma and offer encouragement and hope to others. Just as God meets us where we are, we can show that same grace to one another.