Do you ever wish that your kids had come with a manual? You know, one that would give you guidance and concrete answers on how to do this or that in every single scenario so that you could raise the perfect child?

I don’t know about you, but I so desperately want to get this parenting thing right, and I fail every single day. We all want to produce happy, healthy, well-adjusted adults, but unfortunately, there is no manual filled with if/then scenarios. Most of us parent in the manner that was modeled for us through our own childhoods. Some of us had wonderful models from which to guide our parenting. Others are still searching for that healthy model.

In today’s busy world, many of us (myself included) find that we are blazing through our days at breakneck speed. Carting kids from here to there due to school, practice, friends, etc., just trying to cram as much into a day as we possibly can. I don’t think there has ever been a time when families have been more overscheduled and spread as thinly as they are today. The demands on our families have inadvertently led us to quick-fix solutions in our parenting that are, in most cases, not effective.

To be exceptional parents, we need to be intentional parents

I am thrilled to be leading a new class at HPUMC this spring appropriately titled: “Intentional Parenting: 10 Ways to be an Exceptional Parent in a Quick Fix World.” This current, relevant, and faith-based curriculum has been a wonderful inspiration for helping families develop a vision for where they are headed and give them some practical tools for getting there. We will walk through ten aspects of parenting that help us create an environment for our children which builds them up and provides a solid foundation from which they can grow into the people that God created them to be.

Five tips for becoming a more intentional parent

Before the class begins later this month, I want to offer some tips you can put into practice today to help you be more intentional with your family:

1. Cast a vision for them. Take some time to envision that young adult that you want to send out in to the world one day. What traits do you hope he or she will possess? Start praying now God’s guidance and protection as you raise up this child.
2. Be a role model and the primary influencer. Kids don’t do what you say . . . they do what you do! Recognize that you have more influence on your child than anyone else, and claim it! Examine what you are modeling for your child and if it aligns with the vision that you have for him or her.
3. Be present. In a world full of distraction, it’s so easy to be physically available but to be mentally and emotionally checked out. Don’t be fooled . . . your kids know the difference. Show up and be present ready to engage fully with your family.
4. Watch your words. If you recorded every word that you spoke to your child in a day, what percentage would be positive? Often in our efforts to teach, train, and mold our children, we focus on the negative or the things that aren’t going well. Be mindful that you are making significantly more deposits with your words than withdrawals.
5. Cut the clutter. Want to find more peace in your family life? Take a look at your schedule. Can you identify things on your calendar that are not adding to a peaceful life? Give yourself permission to create some margin so that you have space to connect and have fun as a family.

Let’s face it: without a plan, we’re going to go somewhere we didn’t intend to go. To be exceptional parents, we need to be intentional parents.