At HPUMC, we believe that alcohol and drug addiction is a disease that can lead to devastating social, economic, spiritual, and physical consequences for individuals, families, and entire communities.
We support individuals struggling with this disease through groups and studies, referrals, staff support, and community. We also provide care and support for loved ones and families of addicts.
In my last few years of drinking, I became acutely aware that something was different. The fun and camaraderie were diminishing, and the process of drinking while trying to live a productive life became challenging.
Despite my best efforts, I was unable to moderate my consumption or stop entirely. When I tried to control how much I drank, I would overshoot the mark. The frequency and amount of my drinking was not a secret to those around me, but the exertion of willpower to control it was.
My loved ones thought I wasn’t trying or wasn’t as concerned as they were, but they were unaware of the daily inner battles. Why was this so difficult?
Why couldn’t I stop drinking when I wanted to with every fiber of my being?
Throughout my life, I had been able to achieve some level of success through hard work and determination (willpower), which, along with other aspects of my character (pride and ego), made it terrifying for me to seek help. I viewed alcoholism as a weakness, a defect of character. I could not have been more wrong.
Without a sufficient substitute, my alcoholism grew stronger and stronger along with my guilt, shame, remorse, and fear. They fed off each other, dragging me into an ever-deepening state of seeming hopelessness.
Humility was necessary for me to begin my recovery, and ultimately abandon myself to God. I believe humility, the leveling of one’s pride, is one of the most powerful traits one can have. Humility allowed me to ask for help and meet many wonderful people who helped me begin a new and wonderful life.
Today, humility allows me to recognize my past as a blessing to help others, not to be tucked away and forgotten. It allows me to share my story without reservation and to tell how God has worked miracles in my life.
Today, I am a free man who tries to walk God’s will to the best of my ability on a daily basis.
I often fall short, but I progress in my relationships with God and God’s children. I am full of joy and love. Most importantly, I have the ability and desire to share that with others.
The fact that I haven’t had a drink for seven years is merely a byproduct of better way of life gifted through God’s grace. Life has taken on a whole new meaning, making me grateful to be a recovered alcoholic.