Three ways you can be a leader in your home

When we talk about leadership, we often think of leaders as those with a title within an organization, but what about those of us who serve at home?

Whether you’re a working parent or a stay at home parent, by nature of our role, we are leaders. Whether we claim the position or not, it is our highest calling to lead these little people whom God has entrusted to us. So how then do we do that? What does leadership in the home look like?

In today’s culture, we’re often moving at such a fast pace that parenting becomes all about efficiency. We take shortcuts. We take the easy route or the route with the least amount of pain. We do as we see others do. I’m afraid that through this societal push for more achievement, or just more of everything, we have let the world influence how we raise our families. We fall into the trap of leading our families as everyone else does, not how the Lord has called us to.

That’s because leading as God leads at home, requires doing things differently than the rest of the world, and it’s not always easy.

“Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is--his good, pleasing and perfect will.” Romans 12:2

Last year was a rough one for our family and one that I do not wish to repeat. We had been struggling through a difficult school year and both my husband and myself felt as if we were on the fast track towards imploding. The ridiculous pace of life had left each of us, our children included, feeling stressed, angry, and exhausted. Something needed to give.

We searched everywhere for answers, quick fixes, anything that would provide relief for our weariness. We talked to friends and trusted advisors. I read a silly amount of self-help books.

Finally, when I reached the point where I couldn’t take it anymore, I turned to the Lord.

As I sat in Bible study, reflecting on where God was leading me, I felt a clear and direct message from the Lord. I had pen and paper in hand, and I quickly jotted down these words that seemingly came out of nowhere:

Radically change the way we are educating our children
Pull back on work responsibilities
Create more margin for our family

Ouch.

These marching orders punched me right in the gut. I simply could not ignore them. Over the next few months, we prayed over these words. I taped them up inside our kitchen cabinet where I was forced to look at them.

It wasn’t long after my family started putting those three ideas into practice that I began to notice a dramatic shift. Those three mandates from God influenced every decision we made, both big and small. We were finding a rhythm and peace that helped make room to fully engage with one another. The Lord had led my husband to a new job allowing for more family time, a new school opportunity for my children, and a renewed energy and passion for my work as I was able to do a better job attending to my first ministry, my family.

We all have those seasons when everything seems out of balance or out of sync. Our leadership as parents is mission-critical as we take seriously the call to raise up the next generation of disciples. We have BIG jobs that we must do with prayerful intentionality. The world sends us all sorts of messages about how we should parent, but the Lord sends one, follow me.

Andy Stanley says, “Your greatest contribution to the world may not be something you do, but who you raise.”

We spend most of our lives trying to find our purpose and trying to leave some sort of positive impact on this world. What if our greatest impact on this world could be done through our families? God wants to do incredible things through our families, but first, we have to let him.

If we are to invite God into our parenting, there are three things that we must be ready to do:

Stop. Stop comparing your family to other families. You have no idea what God is doing in another family’s life. It’s hard to do, but when we fix our eyes above and hand the reigns over to the one who is sovereign, we can relax and know that His ways are far better than our ways.
Be still. If we want to receive guidance and direction on how we should lead our families, we have to find time to be still. Take time regularly to just be fully present and seek the Lord. Make some room in your busy schedule for him to work lead you through reading of scripture, prayer time, or worship.
Be ready. It’s not enough to receive wisdom and discernment, we must be ready to act. What would you do today if you knew and trusted fully that God had the outcome right in his hands? Be ready to go when he says, “go”.

I pray that our families at HPUMC will stand out in this community. I pray that we seem a little weird to the point where people wonder what it is about us. Why don’t they do what everyone else is doing? What is it that they have, and how can I get it? May we shine a bright light in our community through each of our families when they see the light of Christ shining through us.

Now go and make disciples in your home. Don’t do it alone. HPUMC Family Ministries wants to partner with you to help raise your children in the faith.