“I CAN TRUST GOD.”

Those words have not always been easy for me to accept, especially over the last two years. In early 2015, my husband and I found out that we were pregnant with our second baby. The planner in me immediately started picking out names, thinking about how to rearrange bedrooms for another nursery, imagining holding our new baby and getting ready for the next nine months.

The baby, however, had Trisomy-18 and we miscarried. A few months later, we found out we were pregnant again; but, for unknown reasons we miscarried again at just 6 weeks. At times, the feeling of loss was overwhelming for me. But there were times I was able to find something good coming out of our suffering. I felt my marriage and many friendships getting stronger, and I began stopping to appreciate the little things more often.

Three months later, we were pregnant yet again, but I found that much of my joy for the pregnancy was taken over by anxiety. A couple of weeks after learning of the pregnancy, the Bible study I attended focused on 1 Peter 5:6-7, “Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.”

I cannot count the number of times I read these verses over the next nine months. Before every appointment, sonogram, or test, I had them playing on repeat in my head. While I still struggled with anxiety, taking these verses to heart eased my worry beyond measure.

In June, we welcomed a healthy baby boy, Owen.

While I made great strides in learning to trust God over the course of my pregnancy with Owen, I am still a worrier. Recently however, I received a great lesson in accepting this truth from my two-and-a-half-year-old.

Through the month of September, HPUMC Kids focused on Proverbs 3:5, “Trust the Lord with all your heart.” The goal was to teach children that they could trust God. The simple, yet powerful statement, “I can trust God” was printed on a bracelet for the children to wear and take home with them.

A few days after Reid received his “I CAN TRUST GOD” bracelet, we started talking about what it meant. Reid then said to me, “God makes me happy. God makes me sad. I love God.” I have to admit, my gut reaction was to tell him that God doesn’t make us sad. As his mom, I hate the thought of anything making him sad. I want him to be happy. Why would God make him sad?

But, while I don’t like the idea of Reid being sad, I do know there are instances when it is necessary, to learn right from wrong, to learn empathy, to learn perseverance. Many times Reid could say that I make him sad, like when I told him earlier that evening that he couldn't have cookies for dinner (a lot of tears followed that statement). But I did that because I know that cookies for dinner is not a good idea, and I love him and want the best for him.

In the same way, we must accept that God knows and sees things that we cannot. So even when we don't understand it and may experience sadness, God loves us and wants good for us. By professing his love for God, while acknowledging that God may make him sad, Reid was showing the ultimate trust in God, a willingness to accept that God may allow things to be placed in your path that will make you sad, disappoint you, frustrate you, but you continue to trust in him.

While I may never fully understand in this lifetime why we lost our two babies last year, I trust that God loves me and has my ultimate good in mind. And for that, I will praise him.

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah‬ 29:11‬

Nicole Kamprath and her family began attending HPUMC in 2013 after the birth of their son, Reid. Reid has been part of HPUMC Kids since he was a baby and is now part of the 2/3’s class.