The cure for busyness

How many of us say to ourselves: “I wish I had more time for that,” or “I would really like to do this but I don’t have time right now”? How many of us are involved in activities, boards or organizations that we don’t really love? How many of us wish we could spend more time with our family and closest friends? How many of us choose to text, email or use social media to connect, rather than meeting face to face or calling someone on the phone?

I wrestle with these questions all the time.

Our lives are demanding. With technology, we can be reached 24 hours a day, seven days a week. We blur the lines between the weekends and the weekdays, between work and play. Our children have gone from unstructured “you figure it out” times of play, to year-round sports and arts practices. Seriously, just ask your parents if they had a trainer or private coach for their respective year-round sports in the 5th grade? While you’re at it, ask your parents if they were mapping out curriculum classes as early as middle school to pad your resume, so they could get into the right university? Ask your parents if there was such a thing as required volunteer hours?

To top it all off, if there’s ever an unstructured moment in our lives, what do we do? We log on to our smart phones and check social media, which reminds us of all the stuff we are missing.

I don’t think for a moment we can go back to the good ol’ days. For that matter, I’m not sure the good ol’ days were any better. Life always has its challenges. I think, though, that the answer to greater contentment and peace starts with our faith.

I believe that true contentment only comes through a relationship with Jesus Christ.

Many of us already share this faith in Christ, but the day-to-day struggle is finding connection in a way that gives us real happiness, contentment, and ultimately balance. I struggle all the time with this practical application of my faith. But I am working on it. Here are some suggestions I have found that have greatly impacted the way I live, have helped my own balance, and ultimately resulted in a happier existence.

Start with the foundation, which is Christ. That’s the basis for this. I love reading and praying 2 Corinthians 3:4-5: “Such confidence we have through Christ before God. Not that we are competent in ourselves to claim anything for ourselves, but our competence comes from God.”
Sit down, turn off any distractions, and take a little time to reflect or write down what is really essential in your life. What’s your purpose? What’s your “why”? For me, that why is “meaningful relationships.” That is my essential. That’s what God wants me to do, to have meaningful relationships. So I am trying to always filter decisions about my time and commitments through my purpose of having “meaningful relationships.” Figure out your “why” and then you can start to make better decisions about your time and resources.
Start doing the little things that bring you small successes. Start by plugging your phone in another room at night and not looking at it until the next day. Calendar time for yourself, family, or close friends and then make sure you honor that time. Start each morning with 5 minutes of quiet or prayer, or just maybe read a couple of Bible verses. Keep it simple and celebrate the little victories.
Learn the art of saying “no.” I read a great book by Greg McKeown called “Essentialism.” He has a great litmus test for saying yes. If someone asks you to do something and your initial response in your head is not “absolutely, I want to do that, heck yes!” then say no. When you say yes to something, there are costs and collateral damage. For example, I got invited to a great out of town concert to see one of my favorite bands of all time, Pearl Jam. I love Pearl Jam and this would have been awesome. But I still said no. The collateral costs of saying yes to the concert were too high on work and family. I was okay. In fact, I was actually liberated. Learn to say no. People will respect you. Truthfully, the hardest part of saying no is fear inside of you. It really is okay.
Along those same lines, go ahead and re-examine any activities, boards, committees, etc. that you are involved with. If you don’t love them and they don’t fit within your purpose or your why, then go ahead and resign and exit gracefully. First of all, despite what your pride tells you, you just aren’t that important. You are replaceable. After about 30 seconds of being disappointed, the organization will move on with their business and they will replace you.
Find and cultivate community. I cannot stress enough the importance of community and peers. Our church has a lot of ways to build your community. Connect. This keeps you accountable and gives you support. God uses other people to give you love and encouragement and to reinforce your purpose and what is important.
Pray. Don’t make it weird. Prayers don’t have to be eloquent or flowery. You don’t have to know the Bible well. Just pray. And do it a lot. Prayer is simply communication with God. And guess what? Prayer is not for God. It’s for us. God already knows what is on our mind. Prayer is way for us to further our relationship with God and to communicate and grow. Make it simple, communicative with God, and do it throughout the day.

I’m able to write with conviction on this subject because I have struggled so much with creating balance, finding peace, and acknowledging that God is in control and I am not. That is where it all goes back to.

It’s bigger than me.

I don’t have all the answers because it’s a never-ending journey, a daily and sometimes hourly acceptance that I am not really in control, that I am not alone, and that I am loved. It starts with accepting God’s love through Christ. This is the foundation for the beginning of real happiness and peace.

If you want more balance, start with the foundation of Christ. Then communicate and pray. God will respond. You’ll be on a journey: it will be difficult and challenging, but also fulfilling and worth every step.