Stephen Ministry: On Grace

Several weeks ago, I was on vacation in Colorado in a small town nestled in the middle of the mountains of western Colorado. In this town, there was a restaurant called, “The Outlaw.”

It was my first night there and I was looking for a place to eat. I entered the restaurant and, seeing that every table was full, I scanned the bar and saw that there were a few seats open. I chose one next to a charming couple, hoping for conversation. I perused the menu, looking for something suitable, and narrowed my choice down to three items. I noticed the couple next to me was eating so I decided to engage them.

“That looks very good,” I said.

“It is,” they said.

“Do you come here often?” I asked.

“Yes, pretty often,” they replied.

I named the three items I was considering ordering and asked them which one I should order.

“Those are all good,” they told me. “In fact, all the food here is good.”

I said something to them about not making my choice any easier. Then I overheard the man tell the woman next to me, “Should we tell him?” My interest was piqued. I was thinking, “Tell him what?” Then I heard him say to her, “I’m going to tell him.”

I turned to them and said, “Tell me what?”

He said, “Well, actually, we’re the owners.”

“The owners!” I said. “Oh!” and we both laughed.

Then they said there was a “special” that was not on the menu and recommended it. It was delicious. Next began a wine discussion, and after some time I spotted a wine on the shelf and said, “I see you have Prisoner. It’s really quite good once the cork is released and its character comes out.”

“Yes, it’s new,” they said. I think the man had tried it. He wound up opening the bottle and giving me a glass on the house. We continued our discussion, and after a while, the man went and sat on the other side of me to speak to a familiar patron that had just come in.

Then the lady and I talked. I asked her about them and she said they met three or four years ago there at the restaurant. Actually, it was her place. She said they were not married but had combined two families. She was divorced and said her divorce was painful.

I told her I taught a divorce recovery class back home at my church. She seemed intrigued and said where she was raised divorce was condemned. I said, “Well, it’s never desired, but the gospel is a gospel of grace. New beginnings, taking what is broken and making it whole again, restoration and freeing what is oppressed.”

She seemed surprised. I asked her, “Don’t the churches here have a similar message?”

She said “No, there is no church here.”

I said, “You must be kidding. I can’t believe there is no church in a town this size.”

Then she said, “Well, yes, there are several churches here, but not like that. They all preach condemnation and judgement.”

Then I looked her straight in the eye and said, “That’s not the church. That is not what Christ died for, and that is not my faith.” I said, “You need a new church with a new message.” She agreed.

We moved to a different subject but I could not forget that encounter and I still can’t. A church without grace is not a church, and it is not us as Stephen Ministers.

Whether it’s a painful divorce, a widow overcome with grief, a person whose life is drawing to a close, the loss of a child, a family caught in addiction, or someone struggling with a disability. For all these things, grace is the center of our message, and Christ walks beside us when we deliver it.

Many events and circumstances can imprison people in life. Our message is one of hope, mercy, freedom, release, and restoration. This is what we become and what we must proclaim.

I never would have known about the “special” at “The Outlaw” if it had not been for those who served it. And our care receivers may never know the empowering message of grace in their difficulty unless we serve it to them too, because sometimes, like me, they just don’t know it’s there.

Sometimes we have to BE that grace, so that others can experience it.

May the grace and peace of our Lord be with us always and give us courage as we care for those in need.

• Jim Beyer is a Stephen Minister, which are lay congregation members trained to provide one-to-one care to those experiencing a difficult season in life such as grief, divorce, job loss, illness, relocation, and other life-changing circumstances. They are not counselors, therapists, advisors, or problem solvers. A Stephen Minister’s role is to listen carefully and offer confidential spiritual support.