Repeat After Me: Your will be done

There’s this habit I have every time I find myself lost in a decision. When I don’t know whether to turn right or left, say yes or no, I find myself repeating the same five words over and over again...

Your will, Lord. Not mine.

I learned to pray these words after spending too many years begging God to do what I thought he should do. And like a fish swimming upstream, it never really worked out. I was always left feeling disappointed and somehow angry with God, like he failed me.

When I hear The Lord’s Prayer, especially the verse “thy will be done, on Earth as it is in Heaven,” I always think of the same story.

I think back to a few years ago when my husband and I were working in TV News. Tim worked as an evening reporter, and I was a Meteorologist and Producer. Both of us absolutely loved our jobs! I loved being right next to our Chief Meteorologist during the chaos of severe storms or a blinding snowstorm. I loved meeting our viewers through social media, not just to talk about the weather, but actually getting to know who they were.

At the same time, something was still missing. I wasn’t sure how to put it in words. I felt like I was constantly being pulled in two different directions. On the one hand, I loved my job, but I felt pressured to be constantly promoting myself.

In the world of broadcasting, there seemed to be an obsession with ratings and I noticed myself falling into the same trap; obsessively counting the number of followers I had on Twitter, worrying over what the consultants would think of my clothes or makeup, and staying up 24/7 to cover severe weather even when I wasn’t on call.

From a faith standpoint, I felt like I was giving myself the glory, instead of lifting up and glorifying my God.

While part of me loved meteorology and dreamed of one day making it to The Weather Channel, the other part of me longed for a job in ministry. I began praying for God to lead me somewhere I could make a lasting difference for Him. I wanted my life to be about bringing people closer to Jesus.

The only problem was, I had no idea what that looked like realistically. I didn’t have a seminary degree and I never graduated from a Christian college. I began to ask God to show me the way forward. I asked him to close doors that needed to be closed, and open doors that needed to be open.

Your will, Lord. Not mine.

A few months later, my husband and I decided to make a move to Dallas to be closer to family. I knew this was my chance to begin a different career, so I started looking at jobs in the area, all the time praying for God to show me the right one.

One day I came across a listing that looked promising. It was for the Social Media Manager at Highland Park United Methodist Church. I thought, there it is! That’s definitely something I can do. That night, God gave me the second confirmation. My husband came home and immediately pointed out the same listing, saying I would be perfect for the position. Two days later I began the hiring process.

Over the next month, there would be countless more confirmations that this was where God was leading me. For example, since we were still living in Kentucky, my husband and I worried about not being able to go through the interview process in person. So on Easter weekend, we took a chance and hopped on a flight to Dallas. Thankfully, even though it was a holiday, we were both granted interviews the same day! On the way home, our airline called and offered us free tickets if only we were willing to wait one hour for a later flight.

For me that was it.

I was immediately filled with confidence that we were both going to get the jobs we’d applied for. I knew it was where God was leading us. When it came time to give my official notice at the TV station, I still hadn’t received an offer from HPUMC. But I was so sure it would come, that I gave my notice anyway. Even though neither of us had jobs yet, we told family and friends we were moving to Dallas.

My coworkers thought I was insane. Who quits a job before they have another one? I have to admit, there was a small part of me that wondered if I was doing the right thing. But a larger part of me just knew that God wouldn’t take us this far only to leave us high and dry.

I felt like he was asking me to take a step out in faith. And so I did, trusting that his will would be there to catch me.

Not two days later, Tim received the call. He got the job he wanted! Meanwhile, I waited patiently for my turn. I was so anxious at times I couldn't sleep. But I just kept praying, your will, Lord. Not mine.

Just a few days later, I got the good news! As we celebrated, we couldn’t help but look back at all God had accomplished.

He took two people who had no idea what they wanted to do, walked us through the hiring process, secured us interviews on the same day, only for us to find out we’d both gotten the job within the same week!

The chances of all that happening seemed unreal. For me, God was the only explanation. All it took was me handing the situation over to Him, and within a few months He completely changed my world in a way I could have never imagined for myself.

When we face a fork in the road like this, I’ve found it’s so much easier to let go and follow His lead. I’ve come to trust that what He has planned for us is truly far greater than anything we can dream for ourselves.

I hope when you hear The Lord’s Prayer, especially the words, “thy will be done,” that you will take them seriously. That you will begin to pray for God to close doors that need to be closed, and open those that need to be opened.

Your will, Lord. Not mine.

I can honestly tell you, in my life and the life of my family, that has made all the difference.