There have been so many emotions running through my body since I saw the video of George Floyd’s death. I’ve felt overwhelmed, anxious, sad, and heartbroken. There have been countless incidents where our black neighbors have lost their lives in senseless ways. One is too many. Those feelings have been amplified as I’ve watched coverage of what’s been happening in Dallas over the weekend. My heart is heavy, and I’ve felt physically sick watching video after video of the things that are going on in our modern world.

In addition to the feelings that I’ve been wrestling with, I also don’t know how to explain what’s going on to my sweet four-year-old son. What is even appropriate for his age? How can I teach him that we not only have to identify when things that are happening around us are wrong but also how to be people who are willing to help make change?

How can we start meaningful change? The answer is simple — you can start at home. You can start by checking your own heart and identifying the areas in which you still have work to do. Start little by little, chipping away at those heart issues. Reach out to your black friends. Follow black leaders on the front lines. Listen to them and learn from them. Uncover racial bias and privilege in your own life that you weren’t aware existed.

When you’re feeling overwhelmed about changing the world, remember that change starts with your heart first.

Change also starts with our family. We can’t brush important topics like race under the rug. We have to talk about them openly and honestly. I remember when Hudson was a little bit younger and yelled out at a store, “That man doesn’t have blonde skin like mine. His is brown.” At first, I was a little embarrassed, but then I realized that what he said was true. We talked about how our skin was not the same color, but that we are all the same on the inside and created in God’s image.

Don’t be afraid to talk to your kids and reinforce that people are people, no matter what they look like. We shouldn’t teach them to be colorblind — we need to teach them that God made all of us unique, and we should embrace that we’re all beautifully different. We should look at events like George Floyd’s death and everyday occurrences involving minorities that we witness and ask, “What if that was me or one of my loved ones?”

Talking about important issues at home and reinforcing what your family believes in helps ground your children. As parents, we should want our children to hear from us first. If they have heard from us first and know what is good and true, they will have a strong foundation when friends and outside influences start weighing in. When there is open dialogue, they come to you when they hear something that doesn’t sound quite right. They ask questions. They learn.

The thing that keeps playing in my head as I start thinking about all of this is a simple song I heard when I was a child. “Let there be peace on earth, and let it begin with me.”

My hope is that as we start at home by changing our hearts, the hearts of our family, and begin living this out, we can start to bring peace to the world. We can start to see a world where our hearts break less and they love more.

Below are some resources for you as you navigate these conversations with your kids. Our HPUMC Kids team is always here to walk alongside you too.