We all know stories like this: a friend has a fire at her house, and ends up meeting and marrying one of the firefighters. The fire, which was a bad thing, led to her meeting the love of her life, which is why you may think “everything happens for a reason.” Or maybe it’s a friend who says it to you. And in fact, the happy results following the fire might seem to be evidence that everything has good cosmic forces behind it, and that might feel like a comforting idea.

But then another friend’s husband dies after a battle with cancer. What about then? Are we still to believe that “everything happens for a reason?” Would those words still be a comfort to a grieving wife?

More importantly: is it true, and is it in keeping with our Christian beliefs?

It might be tempting to adopt the “everything happens for a reason” mindset if you have never experienced any tragedies in your life. There’s nothing wrong with looking for the silver lining in the storm cloud, and with being optimistic about life’s setbacks. But let’s take a closer look at the theology behind this phrase.

Is what we’re really saying that God approves of, or even causes, everything that happens to us? I’d like to explore some truths in scripture that show why I believe that not to be true. Specifically, here are three reasons why I believe Christians should never say that everything happens for a (God-approved) reason.

Three reasons why not every event stems from God’s purpose

1. God allows us free will. Our God is not a puppet master or a micromanager. If we were like robots programmed by God, nothing we do would have any meaning. We choose our behavior, and having free will means we can make both good (God-willed) and bad (not God-approved) choices. Since humans have the power to make hateful and destructive choices, some things in our world happen as a result of those. We can’t blame our bad choices on God, or assume God will make up some good reason for us to have behaved badly.

Adam Hamilton puts it this way: “Throughout scripture, God lays out the right path and warns of pursuing the wrong path.” In Moses’s last speech to his people, he implores the Israelites: “I call heaven and earth to witness against you today that I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses. Choose life so that you and your descendants may live….” (Deuteronomy 30:19).

Adam Hamilton adds, “If people were simply going to do whatever God put on their heart to do, what was the point of this powerful and compelling challenge? The Israelites have a very real choice. They can obey God, hold fast to God, love God and find life. Or they can turn away and find death. Why call them to choose if in fact they cannot choose?”

2. There is evil in the world. If we are not aware of evil, we are vulnerable to it. As much as we don’t want to believe it, spiritual battles are real and sin affects things that happen in our lives. You don’t have to believe in a red-horned devil to see forces of darkness in operation all around us.

C.S. Lewis wrote: “There are two equal and opposite errors into which our race can fall about the devils. One is to disbelieve in their existence. The other is to believe, and to feel an excessive and unhealthy interest in them. They themselves are equally pleased by both errors and hail a materialist or a magician with the same delight.”

So to say “everything happens for a reason” in the way that implies God brings all these bad things into our lives is to miss the boat. Many things that happen in our lives and in the world are NOT God’s will at all. In fact, to suggest in any way that evil happens for good reason is a contradiction in terms. 1 Peter 5:8 warns us about this: "Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour."

3. The world is broken. God’s original plan for the world was perfect. However, as Rick Warren explains in his sermon ‘Living in a Broken World’: “We live on a broken planet; it’s not perfect anymore... The second law of thermodynamics says that everything is in a state of decay or decline.” But brokenness is not God’s will.

If you need more convincing that a Christian shouldn’t say “everything happens for a reason,” google the online article by Tim Lawrence called “Everything Doesn’t Happen for a Reason” (warning: contains profanity). Tim makes a good argument for how it feels to be on the receiving end of this remark, and is frankly pretty angry at the people who have said it to him. He explains that “everything happens for a reason” feels dismissive to a person experiencing pain and grief - like an attempt to fix things. Tim quotes Megan Devine: “Some things in life cannot be fixed. They can only be carried.” That’s brokenness.

I hope the next time you are tempted to say or think, “Everything happens for a reason,” you will consider instead asking these questions: Did this happen because God willed it? Or was it more likely to be a result of poor choices, our broken world, or evil? And then let it go, because only God has the answer.

Theologically, as United Methodists, we believe the truth is somewhere between a God who causes every single event that happens in our world (theological determinism) and a God who is like an absentee landlord who doesn’t interact with the world at all (deism). So, what should we as Christians believe God is doing during all the unreasonable times in our lives?

Three Biblical promises for unreasonable times in our lives

1. God is with us. That’s our promise throughout scripture. As the Korean Creed so beautifully puts it, “We believe in the Holy Spirit, God present with us for guidance, for comfort, and for strength.” Guidance. Comfort. Strength. God’s presence provides us what we need to get us through those times in which we struggle to find meaning.

2. God redeems suffering. People of faith often describe benefits that come from suffering: gifts like learning compassion for others or developing character. God can redeem the results of our bad choices. Romans 8:28 proclaims, “We know that God works all things [even bad things!] together for good for the ones who love God, for those who are called according to God’s purpose.”

3. God promises an eternal future. As we experience evil, brokenness, and the after-effects of free will, we need to remember everything in this life is temporary. There will be a day when mourning turns to joy. Just as the crucifixion of Jesus seemed to be a horrific ending, God stepped in with Christ’s resurrection and gave us a taste of what God has planned for our broken world. Finally, in heaven, everything WILL happen for a God-given reason; as Revelation 21:4 tells us: “God will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.”

There is evil in the world, but God is with us. We make bad choices, but God redeems us. The world is broken, but God promises us an eternal future.