Rev. Joe and Suzanne Stabile recently laid out several tools for a happy and successful marriage during HPUMC’s Marriage Quarterly.

Joe serves as an Associate Pastor on HPUMC’s Congregational Care team. His wife, Suzanne, is a highly sought after speaker and teacher, known for her engaging laugh, personal vulnerability and creative approach to Enneagram instruction.

Together they are quite the duo!

Joe and Suzanne have been married for 29 years, and anyone who spends time around them knows without a doubt that the two truly are best friends.

While speaking to married couples of all ages at HPUMC, Joe and Suzanne shared tips they have learned for how to overcome arguments, honor each other, and set healthy boundaries.

21 Squares: a simple exercise to prioritize your time

The couple also shared a very practical exercise they use to intentionally prioritize their time, and set aside special moments for each other (Fast forward to 22 minutes in). The exercise, called 21 Squares, divides up a week into three categories: morning, afternoon, and evening.

For each week, the goal is to identify at least one square to spend on yourself and two squares to spend with your spouse. Then you add in time with your children, work, and leisurely activities. If for some reason, something comes up and you’re forced to cancel on any squares dedicated to time with your spouse, the goal would be to immediately replace it with a new square in the same week.

“I believe of all the things we know, the thing that helped our marriage the most, outside of the Enneagram, is that sheet of paper,” says Suzanne.

“Priorities become essential when we’re dealing with these 21 squares, as to who is really important, what is really important in our life, and where we are truly connected,” adds Joe.

When it comes to their marriage, Joe will tell you that he hopes his marriage with Suzanne would reflect the great love God has for his children and the love that Jesus has for the church. But as all healthy couples know, when it comes to relationships, the journey is never over.

“You don’t ever arrive anywhere in a marriage,” Suzanne says, “you just keep building it and building it.”

Start putting the 21 Squares into practice in your marriage today! Download this PDF and start making time for your most important priorities.