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Healing Estranged Relationships - History In summer 2005, Barbara Marcum, a pastoral care minister, met with a woman from the church seeking counsel. The woman was suffering the heartache that comes from being estranged by an adult child. It seems that she was not alone! In fact, Barbara correctly believed it to be much more common than expected. She knew other women with less-than-perfect relationships with their adult children, be it a daughter, a son, an “in-law” or step-child. Together, a decision was made to start a monthly support group for women with estranged adult children, a non-denominational, confidential and intimate gathering, free of charge to attendees. Licensed Professional Counselor, Dr. Jane K. Toler, was asked to be the facilitator and to provide the programs for the Dallas H.E.R. group, originally called “The Unintentional Divide”. Topics run the gamut from “how to navigate the holidays” to “being ready for reconciliation” to "healing--how to recover". Five women showed up for the first meeting held in September 2005 at Highland Park United Methodist Church (HPUMC). They all shared painful experiences. They found they felt the same frustrations, guilt, and shame, along with the emotional pain that comes when there is a strained or non-existent relationship with one’s adult child. When a mother cannot experience a “June Cleaver-type” of family relationship, it is often devastating to her. Many cannot see or be with grandchildren. Siblings are affected too. Estrangements like ours touch the entire family! News of the new support group spread mainly by word-of-mouth, as attendees found hope and encouragement from the monthly meetings. Success stories of improved relationships began to emerge. An article that appeared in The Dallas Morning News attracted a new, larger number of women attendees from across the Dallas-Ft. Worth area. “The Unintentional Divide” changed its name to “HEALING ESTRANGED RELATIONSHIPS “ in March 2006, as it was felt to reflect our mission and our purpose. HEALING ESTRANGED RELATIONSHIPS (a.k.a. "H.E.R.Group") had its first anniversary in September 2006. With this, came a desire to duplicate the model and to expand the programs, first in Texas and eventually coast-to-coast. HEALING ESTRANGED RELATIONSHIPS, INC. soon became a Dallas-based, non-profit corporation under Texas law in October 2006. We began in earnest. On March 5, 2008, Steve Blow, well-known columnist at the DALLAS MORNING NEWS, wrote a lengthy story about H.E.R. Attendance swelled at the next meeting and we moved into a larger space at HPUMC. (See Press Release page). As of September 2011, H.E.R. completed six years of activities and program presentations in Dallas. On the Home Page please click on the Meeting Sites link for the group nearest you. Being a 501 (c) (3) organization, we are appreciative of all charitable donations and contributions. HEALING ESTRANGED RELATIONSHIPS, INC. is also applying for grants. This funding, additional local and national media attention, plus community awareness, is helping growth of the organization. As HEALING ESTRANGED RELATIONSHIPS, Inc. moves into its fifth year, we are proud we are receiving inquries from across the USA, Canada and abroad about how to start a local "chapter" of H.E.R. Group. We provide answers, offer a "Start-up Kit" (for a nominal charge), and unending support. Our vision for the future is to continue to expand our venues and programs. We also want to create greater public awareness of these very common estrangements. They have been "swept under the carpet" too long. They are painful, not shameful. We will continue offering group support with concrete strategies for mending estrangements, healing from within, while discovering new ways of relating. |
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