Coffee and faith in a house full of boys
There’s still time to jump into the Book of Mark!
We’re reading Mark together as a church. Haven’t started yet? It won’t take long to get completely caught up.
Visit hpumc.org/mark for a digital copy of the book and to sign up for the weekly email. Passages are designed to be read each weekday, typically taking less than five minutes.
It’s a grounds-in-my-coffee and tears-in-my-eyes kind of morning. Some mornings, I feel so small and like my life is so small. I do the same small things every day for my four small people.
Make breakfast. Tell the boys to put on socks. Pack lunches. Get yelled at because I didn’t pack a Lunchable. Find library books. Tell the boys to put on socks. Find the missing pair of glasses. Sign weekly responsibility folders. Tell the boys to put on socks. Change a diaper. Brush all the hair. Remind myself to cut their talon-like nails tonight. Tell the boys to put on socks. Yell at the boys one last time for socks and shoes and finally send them out the door to school.
And then I get my coffee.
With grounds in it.
I live surrounded by storms and chaos. I live in a house with four small boys (and one big grown-up boy), and the chaos surrounding me is indescribable but even bigger are the storms that roil inside of me. I doubt the path I am on. I fear failure. I worry about the future. Am I doing this right? How much therapy will these kids need? Am I preparing them to be adults? Are they doing okay socially? Mentally? Physically? Did we watch too much TV this weekend? Am I awful because we let them play the Wii on weekends? Did I spend enough time reading to them? Are they reading the right books? Enough books? Are we playing too many sports? The right sports? Should we stop sports and take piano lessons? Should I go back to work? Should I still be home? Am I doing enough with my life? Is my life big enough?
I woke up after my kids today, but the perfect “first 15” is clearly not the goal in this chaotic house, so I grabbed my coffee with grounds in it, turned on a show for the toddler, and opened my copy of the Book of Mark.
I am reading along with the entire congregation at Highland Park United Methodist Church, and today’s reading from Mark 4:40 is exactly what my soul needed.
It’s incredible how God speaks through Scripture when we are willing to listen.
What is it I am so afraid of? Why am I worried? I just need to have faith. The God who controls the storms and winds has me.
The chaos all around me isn’t going to change. I have four little boys. Chaos is normal. But those storms don’t have to rage inside my heart. Instead, I need to ask Him to quiet the storms. Then maybe I can sit back and enjoy my coffee. Even if it has a few grounds in it.
(Family photo provided by Castles and Clouds Photography - Megan Moates)