A Reflection on Psalm 139
God is not intimidated to come with me in my darkness.
He holds me up, so I won’t fall. I can’t get away from His presence no matter what emotions I’m presently feeling. God will stand there with me to hold me up.
He doesn’t get tired of me or need a break. He doesn’t get too busy to care for the things I won’t speak out loud to another human being. He is with me every day. In fact, He made me. And in making me, He paid attention to the little details of what goes into my makeup or personality. Everything about me, inside and out, was purposefully created by God. And after He made me, He decided His creation was extraordinary. Therefore, I can feel good about the person I’m becoming because I am God’s creation. My self-esteem is solely based on who my Creator says I am because He knows the particulars of my heart. In fact, He knows me better than I know myself. This is pretty exciting!
Right now, my family is living life mostly from home because of COVID-19.
I miss my friends, and I miss having dinner with my extended family at a restaurant. I miss being able to run out to the store for a last-minute item. Now when we leave our home, we have a specific plan of where we’re going and after getting that item, we come straight back home. Everyday life is so different.
On top of trying to find a new normal because of COVID-19, the world watched as George Floyd was killed. I could hardly watch the footage. I am a black mother with a black daughter and son. My heart broke for not only George Floyd’s family but for every mother watching and wondering “Is this the fate of my child because of the color of his/her skin?”
I had to allow myself to shed tears for the state of the world in which I’m raising kids. “Lord, I Need You” was the thought on repeat in my head. In that moment, the Lord held me up. He reminded me of His love for me and for my children. The Lord affirmed my natural draw into connection with different cultures. He encouraged me to grow my love for exploring music, food, and ways of life from various cultures. He assured me of His presence, His care, and His provision.
This is the real reason I worship from a meaningful place. There are times in my life where I know the Lord has spoken a tangible word to me. He is real and very present. He is with me on my mountaintop and certainly in my valley. The Lord has the power to look into my heart and spur me to get rid of the judgments of others, self-righteousness, or anger. I always feel compelled to be close to the Lord and compelled to be honest with Him. Because of this, I offer Him my grateful heart and a promise to love people.
As you read Psalm 139, I pray you offer your heart to your loving Father. Sit with the Lord in honesty.
You can trust the Lord to care for your life. He made you to give love and to receive real love.